This unfathomable commodity sits just behind my eyes

I often wonder if people can see my thoughts are cast adrift

Spinning, falling out of sync

On a whirlwind of sheer uncertainty

All the while I am totally whole yet disconnected

A paradigm of crumbling steps that lead to false melody

A hollow drum that swells and bursts

And what’s more? What’s worse? Lost in enigmas and words

The constant burning of what’s next?

What lies in wait or waits to lie?

God grant me peace and rest once I have scaled the tides

And released hold of the grappling line

 

Surety in nothing more than a distant light

Amidst the chaos and the cloudy rites

All by night of course, where lonely shadows dance on walls

I still am void, ache, this burden unbearable to take

What’s the point? I have purpose but not in walks or trails

I so happily sought, fought and failed

Not in faces or hands nor any man

Not in dreams I adamantly spoke or anything I really know

Sweetest fancy and harkened boon, I still strive

But I am unable to shake off this claw that binds

Seductively it wraps around my chest and draws

Sharp talons that stretch the fleshy sigh taught

 

The fountain of youth starts to trickle dry

So too my soul’s once curious eyes

Goddamn this existence, these brief moments of credence

They only spring clarity to stare down the abyss

As I lay my head to sleep, feeling completely incomplete

To think my exaltation to really be has caused a few to flee

Whom I readily envy. For how can I too escape

What is locked inside my tempestuous brain?

So lo the change, the silent chase

Still I’m bound, laid bare to this wondrous fate

That beautiful yet bittersweet unknown, a temptress that welcomes

Yet concealed behind a mask of stoicism lies her true face

 

The Gnostic heart does break to think it too is chained

To a meaningless facade, this howling circus of doubt

Revered for wealth, a fearful hell whose tenants elect

Hallowed ground instead of unearthly realms

I contemplate endlessly on how now the gentle heart

Should it harden and revoke every charge?

That saying misery loves company makes me pause

And think what a splendidly tragic and broken clause

To end this bout of puzzled tendency and puddled reverie

Like the alchemical trade of thought to action

Do I simply recoil and bite my own tail?

An eternal spiral that keeps spinning til the grave.