Why Do We Repeat Cycles?
Updated: May 30, 2020
Have you ever wandered down one corridor only to find that you've been down there before? How about meeting someone new and the more you get to know them, you notice that they remind you of someone you once knew? You've probably heard of déjà vu; which describes a sensation of already experiencing the present. At times it can be comforting to see something new and unknown as something that feels familiar but how about those less comforting patterns that crop up? Why do we repeat cycles?
There are two main reasons for this and I'm going to try and give my two cents on those, in the hopes of helping you recognize these patterns and to utilize these for your own personal betterment.
HOW DO WE RECOGNIZE A PATTERN
This might seem obvious to a few but for a lot of people, patterns and cycles, often go unmissed, hence why we find ourselves repeating them. Realising we are doing something over and over isn't as simple as the 'Groundhog Day' concept. A lot of the time, we fall for the facade of a pattern under the guise of routine. As humans, we need routine in order to have a sense of control over our day to day lives and in actual fact a routine can be extremely beneficial in making the most out of the hours of a day.
So what do I mean by patterns? Let me just make the point of saying that not all patterns are bad but I'll expand more on that statement, in the reasons behind patterns. For now though, lets just say that a pattern or a cycle is exactly that sense of déjà vu.
That feeling of "I've already experienced this."In order to outwardly recognize patterns, it is important to come at them from a balanced state of mind. All too often, most people won't recognize patterns because they don't recognize themselves. So going back to the self love point I made in my first blog, it's extremely important to know what makes you happy and likewise, what doesn't make you happy. Sometimes it's easier in knowing what we don't want in order to realize what we do want.
A fortified sense of self love, allows us to take a step back from any situation, good or bad and to perceive how it effects us.
So, you can go back and read my first post 3 Tips To Change Your Life Right Now, if you like or if you feel like you have a good grasp of self awareness already, we can carry on.
Here are the two main reasons we re-experience certain situations, places, jobs and even people.
1. THE LESSON
Major points to you, if you guessed this one. It really is as simple as that. We repeat certain cycles because initially we missed the lesson. This again doesn't have to relate to whether or not you believe in a higher power guiding your life or not, I believe we do have free will in life. Haha I'm trying to cater to the atheists here too. Science proves that if an action is repeated it can be a sign of madness ... I'm going to replace the word 'madness' with a 'low level of self awareness'. You don't have to have a spiritual belief to have a strong sense of self awareness.
I personally believe there is a lesson, in everything. I don't think it's necessarily the right way to perceive life for everyone but for me it works. Certainly in encounters with people who may not have our best interest at heart there is a lesson to be learned and that is in establishing boundaries. Your energy and time are two of the most valuable assests that you own in life. They are two huge factors of life itself. So it is important that we exchange those two commodities for something of value in return.
The lesson then in repeating a cycle, especially one that drains us, is to establish a stronger boundary or learning not to give an ounce of energy and indeed our time to that situation. Like I said before this isn't as easy as it sounds. I've repeated cycles in life still to this day, that I know aren't completely beneficial to my happiness, the biggest being unfulfilling jobs but I am much more aware, as to not allow the stress that can come with certain jobs to affect me or my free time. I also realize that a job provides me with money which although isn't as valuable as time and energy, it is unfortunately an essential in this modern world in order to buy necessities and to pay the bills. Therefor, I am aware that I'm not just wasting my time and energy fruitlessly but I am in fact trading my time and energy for something in return until I can fashion a more sustainable living from my passions.
Now, if you're still reading, I've used that example of a job there but obviously we can find ourselves repeating certain friendships or relationships. As I stated at the top of this article, not all cycles are bad. Some cycles, situations replace ones that we've lost especially in regards to friendships and relationships. Through the simple passage of time we can lose touch with people and new ones will step in to provide that same relationship we had. In some cases, where a person hasn't got a strong family foundation, they will find that their friends will replace that foundation. Romantic relationships often get replaced until we find the right fit. These are patterns in themselves.
The lesson of a so called 'bad' or 'negative' relationship be it family, friend or romantic is that we don't repeat it. Once we've recognized the toxicity behind that relationship it becomes easier to discern whether the next one will be beneficial. Some people call it intuition but if that's too-hippified a term, you can call it self awareness. You're aware of what is good for you and what isn't. You know what's worthy of your time and energy and what isn't.
So after the lesson, the second reason as to why we experience a cycle is:
2. THE REMINDER
Just like this blog series is designed for personal betterment, cycles will crop up again to remind us of how far we've come and can be taken as a 'pat on the back' if we change course and reserve our time and energy or indeed we learn to give our time and energy. Not all cycles are bad. There are sometimes, missed opportunities but if they are designed for our happiness they will come back around in another guise.
Due to fear, we can unfortunately miss what is actually beneficial to us but don't feel disheartened. That's where the lesson comes in. When a new opportunity presents itself with a certain familiarity we have the chance to take it. A point I'll continue to make throughout this series is that each day presents itself with an endless array of possibilities. The keys are self love and self awareness.
The world around you will be much easier to navigate if you stick to that mantra. Perhaps old patterns that we couldn't see before will be illuminated through a better understanding of self.
Feel free to share this if it resonated with you.
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